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"How to Talk & Win"
© 2003 Stuart Goldsmith
Most people would rather do a bungee jump into the
Grand Canyon - even if they suffered from vertigo -
than stand up and speak before an audience. The sight
of expectant faces all waiting to hear what the speaker
has to say, literally renders many people speechless
with fear. Even a meeting with a bank manager, can be
daunting, especially when asking for finance for the
winning business venture.
And yet some people seem to ooze confidence from every
pore. No embarrassing silences, fidgeting, twirling a
ring restlessly round and round a finger, or any other
outward signs of unease or nerves in sight. Instead,
they seem poised and relaxed, even in the face of
opposition to their views or requests. These people
seem able effortlessly to obtain financial support for
their ideas and get people to say 'yes' to buying their
product. They positively radiate wealth and abundance.
So how do they do it? What's their secret?
The Way to Look and Move
It takes just 10 seconds, for other people to weigh
you up. And the way you look and move makes up at
least 80% of their first impression of you. This
is all before you utter one word, so it's essential
you look like a successful 'somebody'. It's only
possible to achieve this if you feel like a
'somebody'.
Body Language
Meeting strangers is difficult for most people. And a
business meeting with strangers, when you want to sell
your idea to them, is especially daunting. A simple
fail-safe technique is to pretend or imagine the person
is an old friend that you're unexpectedly re-uniting
with. This simple process will soften all your
features and make you more amiable and approachable.
Because your body language will be expressing, 'I like
you', to the other person, it will endear you to them
and they are much more likely to meet your requests.
Stand in front of a mirror and practice meeting a
stranger as if they were an old acquaintance.
The Power of the Winning Smile
A warm smile is a powerful achieving tool. When you
first meet someone, don't immediately flash a smile,
they will feel extra special if you pause for a moment
to get an impression of them. Then let a warm smile
flood over your face and into your eyes. The split
second delay convinces a person that your smile is
meant only for them and that makes them feel special.
It's equally important to continually wear a pleasant
look on your face. Here's a fail-safe technique so you
never fall into the trap of grimacing, frowning or
generally looking unfriendly.
Step 1 - Sit or stand in front of a mirror. Put your
lips together and don't move them. Look at your face
in the mirror concentrating on the eyes. They are
lifeless.
Step 2 - Now lift up the corners of your mouth and
watch your eyes come alive. This gives you a natural
casual look which should be used at all times to give a
pleasant look to your face.
Four Talking Tips
Eye Contact
Looking into the eyes of the person you're having a
conversation with plants confidence that you're
concentrating on them and not elsewhere. It's very
flattering when someone gives you their undivided
attention. So keep strong eye contact - it broadcasts
a message of understanding while making the recipient
feel closer to you.
After Hello
If you want to bring people around to being interested
in what you have to say or show them, first evaluate
their mood and voice tone. If they're really relaxed,
immediately pitching in about your idea or product,
might be too aggressive and destroy your chances of
obtaining what it is you want from them. If they're in
a state of nervous tension from being far too busy for
comfort, understand and sympathise with them, if only
for a minute, before talking about your business needs.
Maintaining eye contact you should be able to register
if your listener gets bored or excited during
conversations. Be sympathetic to the other person's
needs.
Be Interesting
Monosyllable answers of yes and no don't usually
achieve desirable results. For example, let's take the
question, 'where do you come from?' It's far more
revealing and interesting if instead of just answering,
'Crantock', the answer was, 'Crantock. It's a small
Cornish village, famous for smuggling during the 16th
century.'
This answer opens up possibilities for the other person
to comment on. It also reveals a lot about you. By
demonstrating a willingness to share deeper thoughts
with someone else, it makes them feel special and
endears them to you.
Take an Interest
How people comment or answer you, reveals a lot about
themselves. Supposing you were trying to sell your
idea for a film and you made this comment, 'we fully
intend to make a film of this story,' and your film
industry contact replied, 'the latest Bond movie was
amazing.' From that reply with just a little careful
digging you could find out exactly why they thought
that particular Bond movie was amazing. Did they like
the director? Or was it a character? Or maybe it was
an actor or actress? Once you know the answer, there
may be a link that you could use for your project. For
example, if you discover that it was an actor they
particularly liked, there may be a part in your film
perfect for that favoured actor.
If that was the case, you could suggest this actor be
approached to play the part. Immediately, the other
person's really interested and excited about your
project, and if the meeting had been to obtain finance
for the film, you would have just increased the chances
of getting what you needed.
So, whether you've got an appointment with your bank
manager or other investors, or a meeting to sell your
idea, you know you can meet these people full of
confidence, sure you'll stay relaxed and poised,
knowing you can talk to win.
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